March 21, 2023

Winter Break Makes Me Forget How Awful College Students Are

I am a second semester Jr. at Pace University, New York’s most obnoxious private university. We’re not as good as NYU academically, not as aesthetically pleasing as SVA, and our claim to fame is our musical theatre department, which means the majority of my fellow students are the most annoying, loud, and generally overweight assholes you’ve ever met.

That being said, over the winter break, I took a class and came to school fairly often. Between the 24 hour study room and the gym Pace was peaceful, quiet, and actually made me want to study. Today, all of that changed. The main dorm re-opened, and the Ugg Boots, sweatpants, and badly gelled hair shuffled itself back into what I thought was my humble learning abode.

After a nice work out, I head into the cafeteria to get some work done. I sit down, spill my coffee, move over, slap my headphones on and press play on The Promise Ring. Within seconds of opening up my book and hearing the soothing sounds of emo dudes from the 90’s I am interrupted by two grown men playing “The Penis Game” with the phrase “your hat looks like a cotton ball”.

If you are unfamiliar with what “The Penis Game” is, it is when two cretins stare at each other and start saying the word “penis” first in a whisper, eventually escalating to a yell. I’m just like COME THE FUCK ON GUYS. I’m ready to rip off my headphones and burn Bro #1’s stupid hat right in front of him. With the amount of facial hair they’re sporting, these two have to be at least 20 years old. I’m not even 20, and I’m at least adult enough to not have to scream at my buddies over some lukewarm french fries.

Why is it that at no matter what point we reach in our lives, our peers always seem to be barbarians?

One thought on “Winter Break Makes Me Forget How Awful College Students Are

  1. Ah this post made me feel less alone as another rare breed of non-Douchey Pace Students. Also, I’m surprised anyone at Pace has even heard of The Promise Ring. Well, back to listening to Sunny Day Real Estate now..

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