April 18, 2021

What The Hell Is A Frozen Hot Chocolate?

There are many foods that do not make sense to me, like the flavor “blue raspberry”, and cookie dough vodka…but the one that really rocks my brain is this new thing called “Frozen Hot Chocolate”.

How is this possible? Don’t you just mean chocolate milk, or a chocolate milk shake? Whatever marketing asshole (or genius depending on how you look at it) that came up with this idea really had zero faith in American intellect. I can see him now, 45 minutes late to his meeting with corporate, frantically drinking his sugar-free double-whip java chip frappucino, desperately trying to figure out something to knock Pumpkin Spice out of the water…and there he has it in his hand. “This is not a milkshake!” he exclaims, “it is a treat from Mrs. Claus herself! Traveling all the way from the North Pole, the little elves couldn’t keep the toasty beverage warm and thus Fro-Ho-Cho was born!”

I have never had a Fro-Ho-Cho, simply because I cannot afford to lose any more brain cells, nor can I EVER be seen saying “Fro-Ho-Cho” anywhere but in the privacy of my own home, but man, isn’t that some repackaging magic.

Just one question; what happened to the marshmallows?

2 thoughts on “What The Hell Is A Frozen Hot Chocolate?

  1. I’m sure this question was rhetorical but a FROHOCHO is kind of like a salty mocha without coffee. Just pure garbage calories. I will say the salted hot chocolate is the fucking bomb

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