April 21, 2021

Good vs Bad Sriracha: Not all Cock Sauce Was Created Equal

Let’s just be honest with ourselves for a second. Sriracha is the GOD of hot sauce. The Bill Gates, the Steve Jobs, the Bill Murray of hot sauce. Cholula doesn’t even stand a chance, and Tobasco is that Basic Bitch Kreayshawn talks about in that Gucci Gucci song. I know the bottle says it’s made in Rosemead, CA, but I have managed to convince myself that there is a compound somewhere in Thailand with dozens of small children sacrificing their lives to magically transform chili peppers, one by one, into a sugary, spicy paste. Sriracha’s radioactive red color compliments the color it turns your face when you’ve used too much on your french fries. Really, you could not ask for anything more from a condiment.

But, one must beware. There are impostors. You know, that bottle that looks like Sriracha until you get up real close and see it’s more like ketchup with a few chili flakes in it. I don’t know where restaurants (or my friends in Greenpoint) get this stuff. I feel like it’s a black market sauce,  found only at the local Family Dollar meant to trick you and leave you stuck with a 1lb, 1oz bottle of congealed red goo.

Usually I find Faux-racha at dumpling shops that can feed a family of 4 for under $8. I guess it’s the price you have to pay for cheap eats in NYC, but honestly, I don’t know if it’s worth it.

Next time, before you smother your omlette, just remember to take a good look at your bottle of Srirach’ before ruining a perfectly good meal.

 

Until next time,

keat

 

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