February 4, 2023

The King is Dead

I’ll be the first to admit it. I am not very in touch with my emotions. I think I have 3. Happy, sad, and blackout angry. I thought today I would be blackout angry but somehow I am still sad. Here’s the back story. A while back I saw the Morrissey was coming to town. I have listened to Moz for the past 16 years. I have not, however, seen him in concert because I have never had the dough to drop on one of his shows. But 2 days ago I said fuck it, I had had a few beers and I put the $120 on my Visa and I actually felt good about it. Then at about 1 AM I texted Kenji to see if he could watch the shop for a few hours the next day. He was down for the cause. All day long I sat around twiddling my thumbs because I was so excited to finally see the man perform. When I got home I broke out my 16 year old Moz shirt that I got made fun of for wearing when I was a kid. (I sure as fuck wasn’t gonna wear it to the show though…wearing the artist’s shirt at their show is lame-o.) Then I called my wife who was out with work friends, surprised her with the news, and we were off! What we didn’t realize was tonight Morrissey was gonna love us and leave us.
Here’s the view from the venue on a beautiful 98 degree Boston night. (In relationships the first date is key. You have to impress without looking like you are trying.)

Got the hookup on the $12 Margaritas! Kristeen Young was pumping up the elderly crowd with her crazy “rock and roll” music. (Drinking is the first step to helping the other person make bad decisions easier. Concerts are great because you don’t have to talk and the date can now picture you when they hear their favorite music)

Morrissey came out like every true player. He walked around like he owned the place, whipped his mike cord around and all the ladies were sweating it. (I was already picturing myself going home and whipping the box fan cord around for my lady!)

The funny thing is I should have recognized the signs that he was going to be breaking off the show early. It was just like any player’s romance. Come out strong sweep ’em off their feet…then when you know it isn’t gonna work out start laying the groundwork for the breakup. (He said after a few songs he didn’t feel well because he had just played Letterman which is notoriously cold) Of course us being the idiots we are were like no Moz, just keep trying. Then after another song or two, he ripped off his shirt and threw it in the crowd. (this is usually where the player hits it and quits it)
And guess what? An announcer comes out and says sorry folks, Morrissey is gonna have to quit tonight he doesn’t feel well (in relationships this is where the girl is left waiting in a restaurant and the guy breaks up with her on her answering machine)

(girl gets pissed and keys guys car)

girl finds a “nice guy” (retired player) and settles down

In summation, I would like to thank you Morrissey. So, what if I will be paying off this night at 20% interest for the next 7 years. I would glady pay $45 a SONG to see you in concert! I mean, come on, you had a sore throat! I would never sing with a sore throat for $125k per night! Who could blame you?

I know you are The Last of the Famous International Playboys. But when you finish a set early you don’t realize that such a little thing makes a big difference. He knows I’d love to see him and Yes, I am blind to his pain, but he left us Dissapointed. Everyday is like Sunday when you are making $125k a night, but Tomorrow we are left Lost. Alas, That’s Entertainment.

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