June 8, 2023


Alright, what the fuck is up with swine flu? When I first heard of this I thought it was a flu that only affected cops, but I was wrong as usual. So let me give you the skinny on swine flu. Don’t worry, I’m not making this shit up, I got it from the Guardian. Swine Flu is a flu that originated inside pigs. 150 people in Mexico have died of this strain, and one infant died in Texas, but it should be noted that the little baby was from Mexico and died in a Houston hospital. One reason why more Mexicans are dying is because of their lack of a decent healthcare system and in my opinion this is a great reason to have a universal healthcare system. No matter how great your healthcare is, do you really think you can avoid contact with people who don’t have access to medicine or vaccines? It will make you think about every handrail you touch and who is actually preparing your food at a restaurant. Anyways, human strains of flu kill hundreds of thousands of people every year, which sucks, but the good part of this is most people are introduced to these strains and therefore build up antibodies saving the rest of us. The scary thing about animal flus is that most of us haven’t been introduced to them so our bodies are caught of guard. Now, how do you protect yourself from Swine flu?
freebies with the Canorak

just kidding….——————->
Wash your hands, don’t touch your eyes or mouth, be clean! If you have swine flu or flulike symptoms, go to the damn hospital and try to cover your mouth and don’t sneeze on people on the way. The main thing is don’t panic. Don’t judge people based on their nationality. It is possible right now that some of your Mexican friends have a cold and it isn’t swine flu. It is more possible that the skank you just banged who spring breaked in Mexico has swine flu, but that is probably the least of your worries with her or him. And if you get swine flu the antiviral medicines oseltamivir (Tamiflu) and zanamivir (Relenza) are effective treatments for it.

Now, let’s get on to the email that sparked this post.


I hope all is well in the Commonwealth. I’d like to be able to tell you that everything is fine down here in the first state, but I’m not that lucky. This morning it was announced that four of the ten suspected cases of swine flu at my school, the University of Delaware, are actually swine flu. Why am I telling you this? Because I want you to know that I’m taking advantage of this opportunity to wear my Goldenstache bandana. Here’s to staying healthy but looking sick! -E.D.
Great idea E.D.! W.W.G.S.D. What would Goldenstash do? Probably, buy a couple bottles of Cold Duck, invite some ladies over and wait for the apocolypse. I hope you do the same. Thanks for the email!

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