While reading about the massive layoffs I came across this article which really brightened my day. Now I know the world is coming to an end. People are so into fucking money that they are worshipping it. I would kill myself, but I am pretty sure the ensuing riots, fires, and mayhem will take me out first.
A TOAST TO THE JOBLESS
Local man sees green on his bread-and rejoices
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
The toast couldn√¢‚Ç¨‚Ñ¢t have arrived at a better time
for Pepe Avery. √¢‚Ç¨≈ìI was cooking it for my 13-
year-old pit bull Molly as a final farewell. After
being laid off due to my job being outsourced
overseas, I haven√¢‚Ç¨‚Ñ¢t been able to get a new job.
I can√¢‚Ç¨‚Ñ¢t afford food for Molly and I hate seeing her
suffer, so, I was going to take her out back and
shoot her…but I was saved by the Allmighty Toast.√¢‚Ç¨¬ù
Other people have flocked to Pepe√¢‚Ç¨‚Ñ¢s hometown,
hoping to be saved by the √¢‚Ç¨≈ìAllmighty Toast√¢‚Ç¨¬ù as well,
paying $20 a piece to be in the presence of the toast.
When asked what Sandra Wolfe, 28, expected to gain
from viewing the charred delight she said: √¢‚Ç¨≈ìWell, I
gave my life to my job, lost my family, custody of my
kids, and they still let me go. I have nothing. This toast brings me hope in an
uncertain world.√¢‚Ç¨¬ù Simon Christopher has other ideas. After being laid off from
his job at the local GM plant he visited the toast hoping to strike a deal with
Avery to market a metal novelty dollar stamp so everyone can have their own
√¢‚Ç¨≈ìAllmight Toast.√¢‚Ç¨¬ù However, Avery didn√¢‚Ç¨‚Ñ¢t have time to talk to Christopher. He was
busy driving Molly around in the new Escalade he just put a down payment on.
MMM MMM Good!