Thank you American Airlines for becoming the Fung Wah of the air travel business. Airplane tickets cost more now then they ever have, you charge $25 to check a bag, and then you put my wife and I on the wrong flight to Texas, which ended up with us sitting separately and missing the Celtics game. Maybe later this year you can fly one of your 100 year old jets into Santa Claus because then all the children of the world can feel my pain. At least it was a beautiful night in Texas. Anyways, I dropped Leslie off with her mother and drove into Austin to see my sister. Delirious and exhausted, I thought it would be fun to take in a good old fashioned carnival.
This one had all the makings of a good carnival. Smoky, tattooed carneys, rickity rides from the 80’s, and giant $4 turkey legs! This was our first ride: Raider’s of the Lost Ark! (This is even an old reference for my sister, and she is 33!) This ride consisted of a bunch of stairs, a few bridges, and a large anus that you crawled into.
After we emerged out of the Krazy Kolon, we headed over to the Artic Blast, for what seems like a very expensive version of sticking your finger down your throat.
It definitely wasn’t pretty, because in my few hours in Texas I already had 3 beef tacos, a rib plate, fried okra, and about a gallon of sweet tea. Picture this ground up into tiny chunks with little bits of corn tortillas…
It was nothing a fresh chili dog couldn’t take care of, and we hit the midway…where a carney quickly talked me out of $20 and then bought my silence with an inflatable AK-47.
Superman can fly, Spiderman can swing from webs, and Carneys can rob you without even touching you. It’s cool though, if I didn’t lose money it wouldn’t be a true carnival.