October 30, 2020
Uncategorized

Barely Legal Orientals

I decided that I would spend the holiday weekend in Boston raaaging with Mr. Kerry Simon. The weekend was great! It was awesome seeing all of my Bostonian hommies! Since moving from Boston I am often torn between missing Boston and thanking whatever higher being up there that I moved. Boston is amazing in the Spring and Summer but once Winter rolls around it gets me seriously bummed. Anyways, back to the title of this post, Barely Legal Orientals. Kerry and I went to some shit hole bar over the weekend and they had one of those claw machines you probably played as a child. see—->
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Besides the regular items that you may find in a claw machine (fake rolex watches, condoms, fake bling) was a collection of porno DVDs, all which featured Asian women doing dirty deeds. I am not sure why there were a ton of porno DVDs or why they had titles like “Barely Legal Orientals”. I guess no one told the porn industry that rugs and objects can be oriental but people can not. Generally people from the orient would be referred to as Asian.
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BUT seriously….what dude is going to chill next to the bar trying to score porn from a claw machine. I guess a dude that may have already creeped out every girl at the bar and knows his only real successes will come from the gaming arena and his massive collection of pornographic DVDs.
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To our younger readers, save your quarters for the arcade! Not the porno claw game!

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