June 9, 2023
Eat / News

Bacon Shortage Looming, Paula Deen on Suicide Watch

During my morning rounds to the New York Times, Boston Globe, and New York Post (I do this in case I die and people look at my search history; hopefully a somewhat intelligent site like that will cancel out all the sick shit I look at), I saw a headline about an impending bacon shortage.

You can finish reading this post when you get back from your emergency trip to Costco.

Anyway, there are rumors circulating about this bacon shortage.  Personally, I think this is further evidence or the impending Mayan-predicted apocolypse.  Says Paul Tharp:

The world is facing a looming pork shortage next year as farmers struggling with soaring feed costs driven up by this summer’s drought ship their herds to the slaughterhouse, experts warn.

“Producers are going broke and can’t afford anymore to keep feeding herds,” economist Steve Meyer of the National Pork Producers Council told The Post.

US farmers are dealing with their worst hog losses in 14 years. Instead of reaping profits on their herds, pork producers are losing close to $45 per head trying to fatten them with corn feed, Meyer said.

“They just can’t keep up with that,” he said. “All they can do is reduce their herds by slaughtering them for market.”

The slaughter in recent weeks came at the fastest pace in three years and has thinned the US herd to its lowest per-capita level since 1975, according to the US Department of Agriculture.

“This fall consumers will find a lot of values at the retail level,” said Meyer.

“But by this time next year,” he added, “the glut will disappear and prices will soar to new highs.”

So yeah, moral of the story is for you greedy readers to go buy as much of the good shit while you can.

Somewhere, Babe is doing the Cabbage Patch.

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