by 
“Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather.”
The names of this story have been changed and omitted to protect the people involved and where possible the use of names has been avoided, but this story is as true as it can
possibly be.
Disclaimer: TTHU does not endorse the use of illegal substances and I do not recommend that people do drugs… but they have worked pretty well for me.
“My cousin who I am extremely close with was about to go to federal prison for conspiracy to sell ecstasy. He got conspiracy to sell because that is all the evi-
dence they had on him considering he had not sold a thing for 4 years and was
just about to graduate from college and marry his girlfriend. Statute of limita-
tions for ecstasy is 7 years and when the feds approach you that means they
have enough evidence to put you in jail and you are fucked. So he wanted to
freak out on some sort of crazy psychedelic before he went to prison and he nat-
urally invited his psychonaut cousin. My cousin’s friend, who is kind of a famous
druggy guy who has had books written about him, had legally became a shaman
for Ayahuasca. Ayahuasca is a “tea” made mostly from the Banisteriopsis Caapi
vine (MAOI) and Psychotria Viridis leaves (DMT) but it is made with a bunch of
different stuff just as long as it has an MAOI and DMT. DMT is considered one of
the most powerful psychedelic known to man and is also the chemical you brain
gets when you have having your little hallucinations while you sleep. You didn‘t
think your brain came up with that shit by itself did you?
I drove from NH to NY just to do this crazy ceremony with my cousin. We headed
out to New Jersey, driven by his then girlfriend and now wife, to this 15 year old
Russian kid’s house. Let me explain something about this guy who is my cousins
friend. My cousin first met him when he was seventeen and the guy was in his
thirties. This guy explained to me at dinner one night that he was actually try-
ing to take advantage of my young cousin. They then went on to become pretty
good friends and partners in a very lucrative ecstasy ring. We are talking hun-
dreds of thousands of dollars worth of ecstasy across state lines, hence why my
cousin was going to federal prison. Anyways how the crazy shaman new this 15
year old Russian kid with a house in NJ is not really clear but one can only spec-
ulate. I’m going to go ahead and call the shaman guy Joe.
So we get to this house and Joe is sleeping so we sit around and smoke a
blunt with the 15 or so people that are there for the Ayahuasca ceremony or
some other fun psychedelics or drugs (mushrooms, lsd, X, crack you know the
usual suspects). For this ceremony me and my cousin had to fast for 24 hours.
That blunt made us so very hungry we almost gave in and ate considering
there was what could only be described as a catered amount of food just lay-
ing around this drug den. So my cousin goes and wakes Joe up so we can get
this ceremony going. We go into the basement of the house where Joe puts on
this crazy tribal South American music where this guy is like chanting about
Ayahuasca with wind and shit in the back round. We all drink a tea cup full of
this wretched bitter brown shit and are advised to just chill out and meditate.
Me and my cousin smoke like 18 pipes and wait for the “purge.” The “purge” is
where you puke up the tea and all of the DMT rushes to your brain. You go from
feeling nauseous to tripping balls in a matter of seconds. So many people have
a very similar trip and mine was no different initially. I am sitting in front of a
transparent human who is meditating and transmitting to me all of his knowl-
edge through his mind’s eye. There are complex geometric patterns constantly
shifting behind him. Very similar to this picture by Alex Grey.
So because I’m such a smarty pants I took one more dose of the tea then
anyone else at the party and this is where my trip got different. I turned into
a cheetah. Not just any cheetah but a transparent cheetah with long hair
that had what looked like water pouring out of each strand of hair and I was
running through the forest climbing up trees jumping from tree to tree all
while transmitting my light and good to the earth. From what I am told the
reality of the situation was me laying on my side flailing my arms and legs
like a four legged animal would run. I guess this lasted for like 3 hours or so.
After that I was still in a trippy daze but my body had absorbed all the DMT
and my day dream was done. My cousin by the way had the same trippy bud-
dah guy transmitting all his knowledge to my cousin.
Done and happy we started to wander around the house and went back into
this little room where we saw people hanging out. The were smoking some
crack so we both took a bell ringing hit and went to go find his girl. She had
taken a hit of x and was hanging out with these gang banger lesbians who
later told us that they were going to rape her until they heard her story of
my cousin going to prison and they said she was just too nice to rape. How
nice huh?
While we were sitting in this house trying to sober up the 15 year old Rus-
sian kid crawled over to me and started talking to me about how time did
not exist but yet kept asking me what time it was. Quite amusing. He had
taking about 3 hits of really good acid. and seemed like he was in that con-
fused uncomfortable part of his trip
so I just kept talking to him about time while giving him the time. Then there
was the crash. The sound of broken glass and screaming. This lady who was
there drank a whole pitcher of Ayahuasca and threw a TV down the stairs
and started to scream and try to bite anyone that came near her. Oh there
was projectile vomiting as well. We got the fuck out of that house and drove
back to the city.
The End.”
Stay tuned for more tales of debauchery from the “Degenerate Journal”.
