November 28, 2020
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I Drink Kombucha And You Should Too.

tthu thats the hook up kombucha tea natural elixer health moonshine vagina booger slime culture meicinal chinese

 

It can be as bad as it looks, but really, it’s worth it.

What is it? Kombucha is a culture created from a solid mass of yeast and bacteria typically grown in black tea. The symbiotic culture of bacteria and yeast is scientifically classified as a “Zoogleal Mat”. Resembling a pancake or mushroom, the culture adds properties to the tea that can then be consumed for medical reasons. This is not a drug and has extremely low amounts of alcohol, no where near enough for the consumer to become intoxicated. This “tea” is consumed souly for its “miracle” medical properties.

Kombucha has its roots in the ancient East but its recorded history started in late 19th century Russian literature. It has been used in many cultures around the world and briefly used in the 60’s during the hippie movement. Most recently, the resurgence of of popularity in kombucha can be attributed to dirty fucking hipsters (very similar to the hippies of the 60’s but they are too lazy to protest war and create music that will never inspire anyone, anywhere, ever.).

What does it do? Well, for the most part, it hasn’t been proven that it does much of anything. The most conclusive tests, in so many words, say kombucha is beneficial to the function of your liver. There are miracle claims that it cures cancer, gauruntees long life and wards off bad energy. Believe what you will. I drink like a fucking fish, smoke lots of cigars, have a shitty metabolism and even shittier imune system and I poop waaaaaay too much. As far as food that I put in my body, I am pretty health concious, but I drink kombucha every day because it simply makes me feel better.

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When it comes down to it I am not a firm believer in Western medicine. I’m not satisfied with simply taking medicine for the discomfort caused by the body. Through an Eastern mindset I am trying to fix the problem that causes the discomfort.

tthu thats the hook up kombucha tea natural elixer health moonshine vagina booger slime culture meicinal chinese

Seriously.

 

 

ALPH

ALPH was once suspended in third grade for drawing on the walls in art class. Not much has changed.

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