October 31, 2020

Happy Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there! I don’t know if we have any moms reading this or not, but if we do, I would like to personally thank you for being an open-minded individual and for raising more open-minded individuals to cancel out all the douche bag moms raising the plethora of douche bags in this world. I would also like to thank my mom and Joe’s mom and our 3rd authors mom for not giving up on our dream of having one of the most mediocre blogs in the world! Thanks Moms! We told you we would become the 5,070,336 most popular blog in cyberspace and you believed in us! You are the best!

Now for the rest of you fuckers who haven’t learned yet that your mom does in fact rule no matter how much she busts your balls make sure you at least get her a card today. And if you don’t know what to write put something down like this…

Dear Mom,

I just want to thank you for everything you do for me on a daily basis. I know it is hard to work all day and come home and take care of me. And I know I should tell you how much I appreciate you more often. So I just wanted to tell you today that I know how lucky I am to have you as my mother and I love you very much. -Then add some shit that makes it sound like something you would actually say, and clear your internet browsing history and your bookmarks so your mom doesn’t find out what an idiot you are and that you plagiarized her Mom’s day card 🙂

Good luck!

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