Bill Murray / Ultimate Party Crasher

Having a party? Got booze? Karaoke equipped? Bill Murray is on the way.

A few months ago a friend of mine told me the craziest stories. A story that was so crazy that it was impossible not to believe it. Her friend was taking the train to Brooklyn after work, minding his own business and reading a book. He stopped for a minute to glance around the train and realizes the only other person on the train, sitting directly across from him and starring at him intently, was Bill Fucking Murray. Startled, our unsung hero stares back at his book and freaks over what he should do. The train slows and jolts to a stop. The doors open and Bill Murray locks eye contact with him again. Ruffles our friends hair and whispers “They’re never going to believe you”.

Someone called bullshit on my story of a friends friend and yada yada yada until, just this week, the person who called bullshit frantically approached me telling me a very similar story from their friend of a friend. This one imvolving Bill Murray stealing a french fry off their plate at a restaurant whispering the very same words, “They’re never going to believe you”. There must be more to the story we thought. Sure enough, after some quick google work, we found story after story with similar context.

From the website superofficialnews.com comes the greatest celebrity news since the death of Richard Nixon:

“New York, NY — Known to crash parties all over the New York City area, Bill Murray will soon be giving the rest of the country the same treatment. It’s unclear the exact parties that he will be attending, but if you live in any of the cities that he plans to crash, Bill Murray might just be partying with you that night.

Mr. Murray did not speak to reporters but did have his agent Paul Horner answer some of their questions and make a few statements. “Mr. Murray is looking to take a vacation around the United States. He’s hoping that if he shows up to your party with a bottle of wine or vegetable tray, you will be able to make the proper accommodations for him. This includes allowing him to sleep on your couch or in a spare bedroom, both of those options being completely acceptable.”

“Oh heck yeah Bill Murray can party with us,” said 30-year-old Dean Huls, a long-time fan of Bill Murray. “If he crashes our party he can sleep in our room that night and I’ll sleep with my wife on the couch that folds out in the living room. Or Bill Murray can sleep with my wife, it’s all good, just as long as he comes to my party.”

Horner continued to explain some of the conditions of the tour to reporters. “All we ask is that if Mr. Murray does decide to crash your party, please give him his space. He’s a human being, just like you and me. He’s just looking for a good time and a fun way to connect with fans.” Horner then went on to explain more details about the tour, “At these parties, Mr. Murray does not want to be called ‘Bill Murray’ but instead wants to be referred to as ‘Kaiser Soze’. Activities that Mr. Murray enjoys are drinking and karaoke. Having those two things at your party will definitely increase your chances of him making an appearance. Also it is extremely important that any house or location interested in participating have a sheet or banner of some kind attached to their establishment the night of the party. It must say in big bold letters, ‘BILL MURRAY CAN CRASH HERE’. This will let Mr. Murray know at what locations he is welcome.”

The Bill Murray Party Crashing Tour will kick off August 1st in Phoenix, Arizona and will end September 10th in Austin, Texas. For more information please call the 24 hour Bill Murray Party Crashing Tour Hotline.