January 15, 2021

8 Things You Should NEVER Buy USED!!!!! This means you, critter!

I took a stroll through my local thrift shop yesterday and it wasn’t very hard to come up with this list…

8. Barbie Dolls. Gross. I’m pretty sure the past 4 incurable flus have come from sticky Goodwill Barbies…

7. Mops. Bro, if you can’t afford a $5 mop at the dollar store – you have bigger problems than dirty tile. Your life’s a mess, and a Goodwill mop will not clean that up!

6. Water purifiers. If you are buying a Brita at a Goodwill I doubt you will be ponying up the $8 per filter that it takes to run a Brita. This is gross.

5. Casts and braces. Talk about nasty. Someone who couldn’t take a bath for six weeks wore this shit in the Summer and got their foot cheese all up in the lambswool. Plus, aren’t these like prescription or something? If you need one of these you probably also need a bone reset or something and I think that might be horrific seeing someone walk into a goodwill with their shin poking out trying on different sized braces.

4. Hairbrushes! Really dude? I have problems putting my head on a bus seat let alone using someone else’s brush! And this shit comes with someone elses hair already woven into the fibers! This falls into the same catagory as the mops…if you are buying this you should really be focusing on your next fix.

3. Mattresses. I hope this is a no brainer…skin cells, pee-stains, blood, semen, butt-juice and bedbugs are what you get as a bonus when you buy a ratty old mattress. (Hand me down mattresses are ok, because you know the butt-juice and semen and apparently feel comfortable with it)

2. Wheelchairs & Shower seats. Here’s the epitome of depressing. Here’s what you know when looking to purchase either one. They have had poop on them and probably pee. By the time you need either one of these you are prone to “accidents,” and you have trouble cleaning up after yourself. Plus, these are only thrown out because someone died. So they are haunted with ghost asses. These should be burned.

1. Toilets. Need I explain?

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