I know you still have a few more weeks but Halloween is the number one hookup night in America. I was inspired to post some costume ideas by my good friend Stephanie. I met Stef in Boston way back in 2004 when she was fresh off the boat from Belgium. She and my wife became best friends and we all were set to attend our first Halloween party in Boston. Stef asked us what Halloween was all about so we told her to dress up like someone from history, or a movie, or a monster, whatever she wanted. She had just started dating a guy and was meeting him there which made the decision even more important. Now, I don’t know why we didn’t elaborate to Stef that Halloween is the day of the year where every girl in the world takes the opportunity to dress like a prostitute, but I guess we didn’t think about it or something. Anyways, Leslie and I went as Dick Cheney and Miss Texas, a simple mix of my hatred for politicians and Leslie’s good looks. Then Stef showed up. Let me preface this by saying Stef is a knockout. She is blonde, and has bright eyes and has a nice foreign accent and I don’t think I have ever seen her look bad a day in her life…except for when she showed up as Sherlock Holmes. It still makes me LOL thinking about how she had her hair tucked up in a houndstooth hat. She was wearing a sloppy men’s suit and men’s shoes and even drew a beard on herself. As you can imagine her new boyfriend was less than excited by this choice. So Stef, this post goes out to you. This is what you should have worn way back then, but great job on keeping your self-respect instead. (Most men hope that the other women don’t follow suit.)
TTHU is going to keep you up to date on all the slutty options you ladies have for this year’s big event! Starting with…FOOTBALL SLUT! Nothing says you came to win like rocking a skin tight pair of booty shorts and your favorite number, 69, on your busty chesticles! Think of all the awesome football references meatheads will make trying to get into your “end zone.”
What about Uncle Sam? All night long people will wonder if you just got off your job at the Tax Preparation place or if you are really trying to be a sexy version of the guy who talked your brother into going to war. This is a lose-lose.
How about bra and panties? You know, these other costumes just don’t let you show off your good stuff enough. Like your labia or maybe stretch marks or a c-section scar. Show the boys the real you in your underwear! They will thank you for your honesty the next morning…honest!
You can find more here.