October 23, 2020

MastaPness | Dress Like A Child Edition

How tha fuck is Reebok still in biz? I nevr bought or stole a pair of reeboks eva. My friendz never bought or stole a pair of reeboks eva. I neva even threw a pair of reeboks ova a power line eva. So how the fuck is Reebok still in bizness? Deez particula pair o sneakas look like some shit they be wearin in a Pixar superheroez flick. Like when they try to mix the future with cartoonz but they dont want to pay some major label for rights and shit. Tha only thing I can say postiv bout deez kicks is they make you run fast azz hell…but thatz cuz you got 50 dudez trying to chase you down to beat tha shit outta ya.

Leave it ta Hypebeast and HighSnobiety to teach kidz how ta get they azzes beaten or raped on tha daily. Dis is a back ta child’hood edition of MastaPness.

Da next item every kid gots ta hav fo back to school is a fresh back pak. Dis aint one of those. Dis looks like that shit all tha Michael Cera’s of tha world had to carry wit their initialz embroidered on da back and a sack lunch with I luv you written on the bag. We should kill tha sucka who made it to save all the fuckin childhoods of the freaks who gotta carry di shit cuz you kno they be pinnin dat shit up and one day they gonna come shoot up da school and shit.

What iz child’hood without a fuckin stuffed bear? Its called my child’hood an look wat happen’d to me. Great thingz actually. I fuck mad whorez, I don’t work, an everywhre I go peeps wan talk to me and shit. Anywayz, why hav a teddy bear you sleep wit when you can stick yo foot up itz ass every day? Look at deez fuckin awful faggy azz shoez. Dere’s a reazon yo brand be called “Band of Outsiders.” Becuz you aint got no friendz left. My boy RayRay once made these airbrush shirtz at tha flea market wit all our monikerz on them and warner brothtaz characters wit some sluts. They weren’t dat dope but to be a good homey I repp’d one out to a barbq one night and talkd them up. Plus RayRay smoked me out a ton when i wuz on tha low so i kinda felt like I owd him and shit. anyways, if RayRay made deez awfull fuckin’ pieces of clown shit RayRay would be GayGay or DeadDead. cuz MastaPness dont play.

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