October 29, 2020

Manties! Budgie Smugglers! GROSS. NSFW.

So our good friend Australian Peter was in the shop today teaching us more ridiculous slang terms and today’s term was “budgie smuggler.”I of course was like what is that? And he said Google it…and it turns out it is what we call a banana hammock. Of course their version is infinitely funnier because they are all drunks and make up funny shit while they are drunk. You see a budgie is this…

Now why you would ever smuggle one of those near your balls is beyond me, maybe they are super valuable or you can make coats out of them or something. Now if you want to see some budgie smugglers in the flesh just click here.

It all starts in what seems like a typical corporate office space. See the guy in the suit? He trades illegal underage Budgies on the black market. Those two hunks are actual smugglers.

This is Domingo. He used to be SAS special Forces but the pay was shit and he loves a challenge. One day Domingo smuggled 3 Budgies in his awesome cargo budgie smuggler from Australia to Tel Aviv in the dead of winter. When one passed away on the 18 hour flight he stored the carcass in his buttocks for the remainder of the flight so the other two budgies wouldn’t be upset. He’s definitely a criminal with a conscience.

Erwin is the brains of the operation. He keeps the database stocked with all the freshest budgies and always has at least one budgie on him at all times…

And finally we have Dash. Dash is a loose cannon, literally, and loves to show off. He’s the best budgie smuggler in the nation and he knows it. Even his tattoos help camouflage him as he glides through the forest. Don’t fuck with Dash.

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