I had an epiphany the other day while dropping a grogan. That’s The Hookup’s Holiday Gift Ideas: World’s most Expensive Toiletries!!!! *the crowd sighs in boredom* Anyways, let’s start with the most important item in everyone’s bathroom, poo-poo paper. The World’s Most Expensive toilet paper is manufactured by Renova, a Portuguese company. Renova comes in a wide variety of non-bleeding (gross) colors like black or neon green. And let me tell you, your shit is still gonna look like shit on a neon green swath of t.p. You can get a 12-pack for $140 here.
Next up we have the World’s Most Expensive Soap! At $124 a bar, Asso Soap is made from real assholes! I’m sorry, I mean FOR real assholes. Honest mistake. Anyways, Asso Soap contains pure gold. 24k gold is dissolved into the soap; the gold’s positive ions acting as a powerful antioxidant to penetrate deep into the skin, doing away with blotchiness and confirming the fact that you have no penis.
As much as I can’t stand them, I’m afraid flip-flops are here to stay. So please, for those of us who wear socks and shoes because we are not A. in prison B. living in 3rd World conditions C. gross and D. children, Dovotoro Nail Nippers (toenail clippers) will keep your shovel toes in check. They will also set you back $170. But it is worth it to the rest of us who had to stare at your blue toenail on the Green Line for 20 minutes today.
Finally, we have the World’s Most Expensive Deodorant. This Deo for your B.O. is so dope it has the word Bling in the name! Thanks to the German company Liebling, you don’t have to smell like a European anymore. You can purchase it here for the whopping price of $48 a stick!