I can’t tell you how much I despise a “wasted gift.” Now, I know your parents probably told you that there’s no such thing as a wasted gift, but your parents were wrong…A wasted gift is that present that you have to buy for a friend because you know they are gonna get you something, but you didn’t care enough to plan ahead so you run into Urban Outfitters and grab some stupid kitchy marshmallow gun or some shit for $20 that the person will play with like 3 time before they throw it away. Let’s face it, if a marshmallow gun was really all that fun then I would have heard about it before I walked into Urban Outfitters. Anyways, let me offer you an alternative to the shitty wasted gift. Each year I usually stock up on a few items from UNICEF, one because it reminds me that I actually can make a difference, and two because even if the recipient throws away the card that tells them they donated a goat to a kid in Africa, the kid in Africa still gets a goat. So, I have compiled a few cool items from UNICEF that you can think about adding to this year’s list.
Do you remember getting your first bike? I know I do. My parents spray painted my sister’s bike blue and I believed it was new and awesome! Now imagine if you bought a bike for a UNICEF worker. This way they can bike village to village providing health care to those in need. And it only costs $57! What a deal!
All I did growing up was draw. I would draw cars with guns all over them, naked ladies, and penises. For just $23 you can help 50 kids get a notebook and pencil and maybe one day they will be able to write about what a sick bastard you are.
Another great option is to buy a goat. Goats are fucking ugly disgusting creatures, but they give delicious milk and cheese to a family in need. Plus, they are actually quite nice and kids can pet them and braid their creepy goat beards for fun. I actually love goats, so much in fact I named my cat Goat in honor of this God-forsaken animal. A Goat only costs $60 and can really change a family’s life overnight!
I hope this helped you guys find at least one charitable gift for the holidays. We all want our electronics and clothing and stuff and that is great — but it is also great to give a helping hand to those who weren’t lucky enough to be born into a country that gives you a leg up on a daily basis.