It was only one year ago that everyone’s favorite musician/model/porno iguana got her too-tanned gourds kicked out of a roadside veggie stand and was stripped of her pumpkin patch princess crown! #haters #freecourtney #neverforget
In case you live under a boring rock, Courtney Stodden is the precious lucite-wearing jewel who shimmied onto the scene last summer with her hit (I use that word loosely) single “Don’t Put it on Me“. Well, that isn’t really true. Courtney just kind of… showed up.
Courtney (then 17) and her old-ass husband Doug Hutchison (then 51 and who, incidentally, was in The Green Mile, a film about an inmate on death row for accusations of CHILD RAPE and murder) took their grossness to a pumpkin patch last fall and got kicked for dry humping, abuse of innocent veggies, and other sucio shit. Who knows, maybe Doug shot his geriatric spermies onto an apple donut or something. I don’t know. All I know is that a bunch of
haters customers complained and Courtney and Doug got their asses thrown out. They spoke to various news outlets about the cruel and unjust treatment but the pumpkin patch people never apologized. WAKE UP people!!! Why won’t they let Courtney be great? Support her (and your) right to rub your beef jerky all over the season’s produce!!
Anderson “Silver Fox” Cooper provides a great amalgamation of footage for his coverage of Pumpkingate 2012 and even shows us his best Courtney impression!
God, I miss them.