November 27, 2020

5 Things to do when you are high. Write a blog!

1. Act like you’re not high. One of the best things to do when high is have an internal dialogue in your mind like “Does she know I’m high? Can she tell how slowwwwwwww I’m talking? Why did she repeat herself? Does she think I’m high?” “Oh wait, no she has no idea how high I am!” it’s cool, act cool. “What? Oh, you know, just working.”

2. Drink or eat something. Anything. I’m drinking 3 day old open red wine right now. A bee is buzzing in my ear or wait, nevermind, it’s just a gnat…that’s how good this shit is. Anyways, it’s amazing how alive your tastebuds are and how intune you are with your feelings…oh shit that sounds gay. Anyways, shit always tastes better when you are high and you come up with epic combos!

3. Play Video Games! When you are high every game is a winner. Game 1. Play like you aren’t high. Game 2. Try really hard but realize that you are too fucked up to possibly do better than bad. 3. Forget you are playing the game altogether and subsequently win teh whole motherfucker and get a killstreak.

4. Communicate with animals. Yo, why you lookin at me Rover!?!!?!? Yeah, I’m talkin to you. Really? You mean it Rover? Oh man, I love you too! (Did that shit actually happen) Oh fuck you Rover!

5. I guess you could always build the Matchstick Fly Plane airplane.

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