Big Jus, J.P., Leslie and I met up at the Middle East to see our friend Owen’s band: A Wish For Fire. It was their cd release party and they packed the place out. I wish I could have taken a photo of the split though, because A Wish For Fire definitely brought in the most people that night. Ellen was there checking on Justin’s new Proletariat tattoo!

The crowd was bumpin, head bangin, mosh pittin’, crowd surfin, etc.

The King of Beers was there…

So was the King of Blogs!

And the band played on…

Thanks to A Wish For Fire for the signed cds and the good vibrations…and make sure you always designate a driver.

THIS ART FORM BLOWS MY FRIGGIN MIND, I NEVER KNEW HOW INTRICATE AND DETAILED THE PROCESS OF SIGN PAINTING ACTUALLY IS. MAD PROPS DAVID THE SIGN WRITER!!!!!! CHECK OUT THE VIDEO

David A Smith – Sign Artist from Danny Cooke on Vimeo.

So you may be looking at this and wondering…what the hell is a Merkin? Well, a Merkin is…

The Oxford Companion to the Body dates the origin of the pubic wig to 1450. Women would shave their pubic hair and wear a merkin to combat pubic lice, and prostitutes would wear them to cover up signs of disease, such as syphilis.

First of all if you see a woman with a bush this vast, you might want to check your blood alcohol level before proceeding. A sure-fire way to make sure a woman isn’t wearing a merkin is to tug on her pubic hair. If she screams you should apologize and explain to her that you are a virgin and you have no idea what you are doing. If she doesn’t scream and the merkin pops loose, do not proceed without adaquate protection and ask for a discount.

The song is whatever, but the video is awesome! Thanks Austrailian Peter!

Every day mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, sons and daughters, and old friends are having to say goodbye to each other not knowing when & if they will see each other again. Today was my day to go through that and it isn’t cool. It doesn’t have to be this way. People think if we don’t go kick ass then we will have our ass kicked. In my opinion, maybe we could just change the rules of the game. Since we are the world’s super-power, let’s just start giving other countries a leg up. Will they really keep trying to bite the hand that feeds them? When you give a homeless person money do they kick you in the shin or do they say thank you? When you stick up for someone smaller than you do they respond by punching you in the balls or do you become friends? So why do we think world politics are any different?

Anyways, SoldierX, and all our other friends and family over there, keep your heads down and come home safe – we will be thinking about you.

As a kid my parents had awesome cocktail parties. The biggest one was on New Year’s Eve and my parent’s house was the place to be. They probably had 50-100 couples stop by during the course of the night and they bribed me to stay in my room with good food, a television, rented Nintendo games, and plates of 1950′s style cocktail hors d’oeuvres. I remember sneaking out into the dining room and sitting under the tablecloth, hidden out of site, listening to all the grown-ups talking about their fucked up kids, or the latest work gossip. I would also steal a few beers out of the cooler to save for a rainy day…I was 11, hahaha. Anyways, I promised myself I would do the same when I “grew up” and I hope you do as well.How do you know you are grown up? Well, I don’t have a keg in my crib, and I don’t charge people by the cup for beer. I have a bar set up with all the right liquors and mixers so people can concoct whatever they please. Now it’s my job to help you set up your own cocktail bar. In this installment we will discuss the tools of the trade.

First up we have the cocktail shaker. This is a great way to look like you know what the hell you are doing. ***If you are a dude and you are shaking drinks be aware of the fact that your dong may or may not be shaking as well.*** This is great with a possible female –awkward if you are mixing drinks for grandma. The shaker seems like a simple device because it is. Put 5-6 ice cubes per drink in the shaker (if making more than one drink at once use less ice). Don’t overfill the shaker, the point is to be able to really mix stuff up. Most drinks only need to be shaken for about 10 seconds but if you have cocktails with eggs or lots of ingredients keep going. One of the most annoying things about metal cocktail shakers is it is always hard to get the lid off after shaking them up. Sometimes you just need to bang it on the seal on the side of your bar, but to be honest this is one perk of having a plastic shaker even though they aren’t as authentic.

Next up is the bar spoon! Are you tired of dipping your fingers in your guests’ drinks? Well, maybe you don’t think we notice but we do — especially with your Cheeto fingers clouding up my martini. The bar spoon is long and skinny so it can reach the bottom of your glass and navigate through the possible maze of ice or suspended fruit. This spoon is extra-dope because it has a fork on the end. This way you can stab a cherry or olive in the jar and flick it into your drink like Donatello did with pizza in Ninja Turtles.

Everyone has seen one of these but few people know what the hell it is. This is the Hawthorne Strainer. This tool is great for drinks that are shaken with ice but then served neat (without ice or over new ice.) It’s made to be used with one hand and this guy will explain it better than me.